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 Connectons and bonds

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Bloodmoon
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PostSubject: Connectons and bonds   Thu Apr 16, 2015 4:19 am

The small man in his arms weighed almost nothing. So fragile always to him as if made of spun glass. Just as beautiful. He flew through the skies having not really said much to anyone other then Aleksandr that he was leaving, that they were leaving not were they were going or for how long. He was tired emotionally and physically spent. But it was Kanzen's words that echoed through his heart and mind. It wasn't really Kira's fault nor was it his. It was the price of there stations. But they had gotten so caught up in such a vicious cycle that they were causing each other unending pain and didn't mean to. Until that moment Aoi had been so caught up with ruling and dealing with every problem and when not dealing with problems locking himself away in his room. Mean while Kira was going more and more distant and lashing out more and more. Most of it had been Eri he knew that now but some of it no doubt was Kira's own heart ache and pain.

Aoi looked at the small man as he sat down on the island thousands and thousands of miles away from anyone. No one was going to find them here and there was no one else here on this island except for them. A safe haven of sorts a place to get away. And yet in this place the most beautiful thing here was Kira. His shoulder length snow white hair hung messy about his head falling to cover half his face. Pale glacier blue eyes set against long butterfly lashes, so long then when he closed his eyes they fanned out against his skin. Perfect Ivory skin. The tattoo's that covered his frame only added to his beauty in Aoi's eyes.

Eyes....Aoi set Kira down gently keeping an arm about him as he reached up and brushed the long snow hair back so he could see them both. At one time these very eyes had been Aoi's own. But Kira's elder brother in a fit of rage tore Kira's eyes out to render him forever blind. Aoi....to save Kira's sight gave him his own eyes. He never thought twice about it. There hadn't been time. Aoi then took the eyes of is brother into himself those cursed eyes that had nearly taken away Kira's light forever. And then Aoi's own Sire wanted to remove them from Kira a gift he had so given to him. Aoi ended him in order to save Kira especially when the man abused Kira and hurt him.....branding Kira in such a way that his body was rejecting it and it was killing him. Aoi sought out the back alleys the forbidden areas and had Kira branded....Kira again and this time to himself. The forever Brand a flower on the side of both of there necks that made it impossible for Kira to draw any true substance from anyone but him. Kira could only truly feed from Aoi or absorb Moonlight anyone else it was hollow empty and left him starving.....it destroyed the blood he took into himself.

Then Lilith and her spells and trickery even Aoi had not been Immune to it and she had used him to sink her fangs deeply into Kira. Hurt him and made him believe the worst broke Kira until she could use him at free will. Taking this lovely pheonix over and over again....until Aoi broke through to him. But not before Kira lashed into him....and he'd take it again and again in a heart beat. But Lilith's blood meant nothing to Kira having been forced to take it in it left him raw and empty inside his attacking his lost rage....was between hurt at Lilith's spell on Aoi and pure hunger. Aoi saved him.....again.

Kira at one point had returned to the moon at the Moon priestess beckoning. She then forced his hand and made him devour her....setting about a nasty side effect.....as well as her priestess's. Aoi arrived in time to see it.....and it nearly broke his heart. Kira gained there powers but it caused him to once again be famished and once again did he need to feed from Aoi.

As Aoi thought back upon all of there struggles. All of there hardships including when Kira was reborn so far into the future a few times once on the moon alone and when he returned he had felt isolated then too.....Aoi ran his fingers along the side of Kira's face.....so much.

Kira tipped his head into Aoi's touch closing his eyes.

"How did this happen? When did we start to fall apart Aoi?" Kira whispered softly sadly. "When did those we love become the ones we end up fighting against the most?" Kira looked up at him there were countless times Kira saved Aoi too.....but.....Kira sighed softly.

"Why.....why do you hold me so highly....when I am the one who hurts you the most?" Kira whispered closing his eyes before bowing his head down. "I have caused you so much pain and now....you look so drawn and tired so lost......and once again the fault is all mine. Over and over again.....I have hurt you....yet you hold onto me so dearly....so closely...." Kira's hand held his as tears began to fall. "Even in coming here.....it doesn't change the fact that everything you've suffered lately is my fault....Aoi....it seems like the more I wish to be close to you....the more I hurt you and push you away from me.....I love you....I have always loved you and will always love and need you more then anyone....and yet...."

Here Kira paused looking up at him, his pale blue eyes looking into Aoi's own mismatched. "And yet.....I'm not the only one who does. As king you needed by so many. The council meets helping others every time your pulled away every time that door closes on private meetings......that I am to have no part of.....it hurts because it feels like I'm loosing more and more of you each time....I know it's foolish of me. I know you love me....but I....I keep screaming not because I want to push you away Aoi....but because I feel like at times I'm standing trapped on the other side of a glass wall looking in at you as your moving further and further away.....and no matter how hard I try.....I can't reach you...."

~*~
Back home in the castle Neikan was in a fit of rage was currently destroying everything in his room. Breaking furniture, destroying the bed and curtains. Everything in his reach. Everything was being broken in his room nothing was being spared. He was hurt some by Aoi and Kira leaving and sending Sasha to deliver the message to him. But mostly he was feeling neglected and forgotten.

Something breakable went flying towards his door only to see another silver haired pain in his ass duck the flying object. Zero's silver amethyst landed on Neikan as he straightened up and spoke.

"You're such a pain in my fucking ass.....you know none of this shit will give you what you fucking need Nei..." Zero said sounding very much like someone very important to Neikan from his past....very important and special "Stop wasting your damn energy on worthless shit. It won't do you any fucking good and you and I both know it." Zero said his effeminate voice not shouting like normal for him but low cool and dark as he walked into the room and up to Neikan. "Or do you just enjoy being a fucking pain in the ass?" Zero finished reaching out to grasp Neikan's chin in his fingers he felt different right now and something about Neikan felt very different to him.......felt very very important to him in ways he soul not explain even if tried.

Neikan glared at him and jerked away. "Shut up. I know this isn't getting me what I want- what I need, but I'm in the way of them right now. I'll fix everything later..." he said lowly, coldly. He really wasn't in the mood to face this right now. He couldn't even do anything even though he knew the touch, the tone of voice felt so familiar.

Zero narrowed his eyes something about the cold brush off just pissed him off that much more an 'how dare you' feeling when....before it would have not bothered him nearly as much. Zero grabbed Neikan and moved slamming him into the wall pinning him between Zero and the wall itself. "Bull fucking shit. If you need to vent that fucking badly I'm right here damn it. And your in no one's fucking way....but there's no way I'm ignoring your fucking ass and walking out like you want." Zero retorted locking his gaze with Neikan's this was really pissing him off for some reason.

Neikan had let out a quick moan before he growled and glared down at Zero. "I said I'll fix things later Zero," he said lowly, gritting his teeth and fighting to say the name Zero. "I'm pissed off enough as it is, stop making me want to beat your skull into the wall...you know how that will end...."

"Yeah I know how it will end." Zero retorted as he glared up at Neikan. "I also know you fucking need this." He wasn't shouting. Zero normally shouted and glared at everyone let out intense anger and he was angry right now....very angry and hurt. Which was odd because he and Neikan hadn't been very close at all. He and Aoi were.....but it was Neikan....Neikan's pushing him away that hurt like hell. "If your that damn pissed off then do something about it. You want to beat my damn head into the wall then fucking do it.....the furniture won't give you the damn release you need and you and I both know it."

Neikan growled in frustration as he glared at Zero. "Why do you want to bring out the monster in me?!" he asked angrily, never able to filter himself or say what he truly meant, he was always saying things completely wrong. "You're such a pain in the ass!" he yelled as he moved then, slamming Zero into the wall, switching places instantly.

Zero had tried to make it clear to lovers in the past. To Akumu, to Kaname neither understood but the moment his back slammed into the wall he moaned feeling the pleasure upon impact. He opened his eyes to look at Neikan. "Your not a monster Nei." Zero retorted..."I can't even begin to fucking explain it....but....you being like this isn't frightening to me it's fucking thrilling..." He locked eyes with Neikan. "Your pushing me away pisses me the fuck off....something inside of me deep inside....wants every thing you can give..." Zero answered. "You want to fucking convince me your a damn monster.....then break me Nei."

"Because that is the only way you can....I'll never fucking believe it otherwise." Zero said as he looked at his brother.
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Bloodmoon
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PostSubject: Re: Connectons and bonds   Sun Apr 19, 2015 4:00 am

Aoi listened to Kira, all the bickering all the fighting and lashing out from Kira was because.....he closed his eyes and pulled the smaller vampire into him. How many times had he said it and yet.....Kira wasn't pointing out words but actions. In his attempts to protect Kira from the hardships of ruling of the weight and strain it put on Aoi himself he had without meaning to isolated Kira. Aoi wrapped one arm around Kira and the other he let rest on the top of his head. "Kira...." he said softly lowly, that tell tale sadness ever present in his voice. The way he was talking...."Kira I would give you the world the moon and the stars if you but asked it of me it would be yours." he said softly. Then moved his hand from the back of Kira's head to catch the smaller vampires chin. "But I can't give you anything I can't change anything if you don't tell me what's bothering you. If you keep it bottled up inside like this how can I possibly? I can read minds but there are so many out there and I honestly try not to." He said sadly.

Aoi's fingers brushed the side of Kira's cheek. "Your wrong. Your not the cause of all of my problems. You have never been the cause of any of my problems your not to blame for anything Kira." He said gently. "Your not at fault Kira, I hesitated to take the mantel of King because I knew how hard and trying it would be, I knew it would at times pull me away from you. But as King I also have to deal with things that aren't pleasant in the least. Things that I know if you were present for would break you, would destroy this beautiful gentle man I love. I want to keep you in the light away from the darkness Kira. You are my light. I walk in a world of shadow and darkness Kira of peoples problems and worries but I can handle all of it because I have you. You are the one I will always need.Even if at times I don't seem to show it, it's because I'm handling all of there problems....but it's then I need you the most....I....I just don't know how to say it." He said until now. If he didn't say it he was going to loose Kira. Because Kira believed he was the source of Aoi's pain.

Kira looked up at Aoi as he spoke as he said what it was he was struggling with. Things that before now Aoi would not tell him. Kira went a bit wide eyed before he moved slipping his arms around Aoi's neck the strength of his shoulders and frame pressed tight. So many placed Aoi as the father and Kira as mother many said that Kira was more feminine then masculine. Yet none of that at this time mattered to him.

Aoi hugged him back as Kira held on. "Aoi....I can't read minds and I'm not empathic. I am so afraid of loosing you. I've watched you struggle with what has happened over the years and the countless times of nearly loosing you and now I have lost Eri. I know he's a part of me....but....he was the one who always reassured me when I fretted that you were going to be there no matter what." Kira whispered holding tight. "I....Eri picked up on my worries and he would snap before he were joined hurting you.....and for that I'm sorry." He said softly. "I never wanted to hurt you."

Aoi shook his head and smiled. "It's alright Kira, we're here because Kanzen made me realize that in the middle of all of this we stopped listening to each other. We're here because we won't be interrupted here, so that we can close this painful gap between us." He said as he traced the forever brand in the skin on the side of Kira's neck. Kira reached up and placed his hand over Aoi's.

"Forever isn't long enough Aoi. I"d give you that and so much more..."

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